[Glances at header image; makes "pew pew pew" gun sounds]

"You pulled the trigger on my love gun! See Ronnie, his dick is the gun!"

The people running "Hoodchella" deserved to get run off, when they had the perfect name
"Hoodstock" sitting right there waiting for them

"May you die in a fire a full half-hour before the devil knows you're dead"

I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her.

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain.

HUBBA HUBBA! 23 SKIDOO!

All of us here at Schooner Tuna sympathize with all of you hit so hard by these trying economic times. In order to help you, we are reducing the price of Schooner Tuna by 50 cents a can. When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices. Until then, remember, we're all in this together.
Schooner Tuna. The…

I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!

Dave's not here!

How outrageous was Johnny Depp’s $30,000-per-month wine scarves habit?

[Kanye West stands next to a visibly uneasy Mike Myers]

"I Am Generally Displeased With The Current State Of Affairs"

Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive Journalist

Two rules, man:

I love Agent Orange…

Apparently no one's ever shown him the Evel Joenievel photo…

"What a cuck!"

Interviewer: Quentin, is this the best "scene" you've ever directed in your career?

[Billy Ray Cyrus angrily tweets his barber]