"Shudder? I hardly know her!"

Watch out for snakes!

Allowed to perform next year at SXSW -

Joni Sledge - Dead At Age 60

The AV Club Comments System = Live Action Dumbo

This is not my beautiful AV Club!
This is not my beautiful comments!
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down…

You're supposed to stand naked, cover yourself in blood, and swing a chicken over your head three times… and that's just to login… now to comment…

March 9, 2037 -

If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a giant lizard who helps rebuild a half burnt down city then moonwalks back into the ocean…

When you someone fuck it up

AV Club Staffer #1: People are complaining about the new comment style - it's not working the way it should, and they're threatening to quit coming to the site…

If I wanted to work this hard, I'd just try doing my actual job!

That sounds like the guy who happily digs through a pile of horse manure because "there's got to be a pony in here somewhere!".

I'm hearing things are less complicated over at MySpace…
there's also Prodigy, AOL, or CompuServe

AV Club… You betrayed me! You're not good. You, you're just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep.

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy AV Club Commenter holding a list. "Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar post a comment."

Somebody must have gotten a new job at the AVC, and when the boss said "What are we paying you for?" they decided they better do something, even if it's wrong.

[WARNING: Index is subject to large deviations in areas where Kid Rock is present]

One's a drooling, smelly human that shits itself and needs help being fed… the other's a baby.

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't…