Does Donald do everything right? No. Does Donald do anything right? Just one thing. Donald gives really good butterfly kisses. You know, where you put your eye up to someone else’s eye and bat your eyelashes? That’s a butterfly kiss. It takes a special emotional connection to do properly. You can always tell a faker,…

I will look in the rear view for nobody.

Oscar Robertson would have played the kid a bit tougher.

So you’re saying he immediately went and beat the fuck out of Jared Leto?

Eh, I get your point, but nobody said that about Bush in 2000. Remember, 9/11 hadn’t happened yet. The argument against him, at the time, was that he was an unqualified, unserious, culturally retrograde doofus running against the sitting Vice President.

I think I can speak for everyone here when I say, “I’m not reading that.”

Shut up, Byron.

Sorry. I appreciate what CM does as a player as well as Eichel, but you really don’t know a thing about Buffalo. The most Buffalo thing to ever happen was the decline of America’s manufacturing base between 1950 and 2000.

Maybe I’m too old, but I have had it with this sex tape culture. Did we just skip making love tapes entirely?

That's at least a 7.2. Not sure what the 40 time was.

“H.B. Blades owes the organization some money,” and “it’s grotesque for a multibillion-dollar corporation to sue an assistant high-school football coach over what’s a ton of money to him and virtually no money at all to the corporation” can both be true at the same time, you know.

Lance Stephenson is a Swiss Army knife, but with all the tools locked in the out position.

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

So when all the other college students are on spring break, Michigan football players remain under the watchful eye and in the servitude of their megalomaniac coach.

I would trade Dion Waiters just for Shumperts hair cut.

This is a pretty silly reduction, dude! Are you assuming—or do you think Redford is assuming—that Davis’s counting stats will always be more impressive when he’s “trying hard”? Or is it possible for a great NBA player to maintain a consistent level of effort, but shift his areas of focus (from, say, deferring to…

Before I answer: Am I allowed to put rat poison in their beer when they’re not looking?

Is he going to let you have sip?

Russell Wilson and Ciara are definitely having sex, just not with each other.