Have you considered that you maybe just encountered a rude Walgreen’s employee?

Pretty much every Jets player is guilty of conduct detrimental to the team every Sunday.

This is the what happens when you wait until you’re almost 60 to try weed.

Even as recently as, say, 15 or 20 years ago, the typical person didn’t read the New York Times regularly, and certainly didn’t read the opinion section regularly. And yet, you probably knew, through osmosis or whatever, that it was the paper of record, written by elites, with its opinion section being the most…

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

No, this is poetic:

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

It’s even better if you mix up the letters. ‘This Nate Peterman Is Growing On Me’ in an anagram for ‘Warmongering Penis Neath Some Tit’

I was thinking more in terms of being at the same time legends and among the most popular players ever among fans, but yet also highly overrated due to limitations and faults in their skillsets.

Wow, I thought this was one of those classic Deadspin comments where you write a meandering, turgid paragraph and then land the punchline, but you actually meant everything you wrote. Fuck man, kudos.

Is anyone surprised that men who harass women are actually just scared little boys projecting their insecurities?

This bird is really hoping you didn’t notice that fart.

Congrats to Mexican-American King Hippo on his defeat of Mr. Sandman..

In all seriousness, I love these hires for the Lakers and am almost as excited for them as I was when they hired Magic. I should also probably note that I’m a Warriors fan.

They’ve had battles at night before and worked around it. It was also a battle which featured magic flaming swords and dragons; if we can be expected to suspend our belief that far, the showrunners can also reasonably expect that we’ll watch a battle that doesn’t solely rely on diegetic lighting without kicking up…

Davis is what Gruden would look like if you put Gruden in a microwave for 3 minutes and 23 seconds

Summitt Mounts, Peaks

“Apologize, or I’ll write a song about you and perform it at halftime of the next home game.”

Lebron said he was activating playoff mode, but he failed to mention he was activating J.R. Smith playoff mode. 

A Baker cannot succeed without Kitchens