I sense a <insert New England team nickname>-nity test in the future

thanks for the status update

If I throw away the first mile of most of my runs, I haven’t gone for a run.

always room? like your mom.

damn you. you just reminded me of that scab on the outside of my nose that I had forgotten about for a the last hour or so. The most irritating is when I swear there’s a long hair growing out of the end of my ear. To get out that one hair, I end up taking away approximately 40% of the surface area of the skin on my…

Hi there. You are old and worthless. No one could possibly like you. Now that I have elder-shamed you, perhaps you wish to get out of those clothes wet from your tears and I will comfort and warm you.

Sorry, after washing my hair, I have cupcakes to bake.

Is this article a re-print? I’ll have to go through my browsing history, but I swear I read a similarly titled article (probably from a few years ago) just a couple of years ago.

how hard could this be? they give you the sequence.

i think he should be on the course with the other horses, not other dogs

like you might take from Magic Street that Orson Scott Card wasn’t a racist bigot?

and sex

even if it’s the Unauthorized BCO, I’d give a listen :)

his balls were groped twice in the same incident though even...the first paragraph directly contridicts the title

the basic Vodka rule that I live by is: If it comes in a plastic bottle, steer clear. Fleischmann’s is awful, awful stuff. I generally go for Stolichnaya in glass. Store it in the freezer, of course.

no, fellow article reader, I’m asking you or someone like you to read these stories out loud to me. If your spoken voice drips with disdain as much as your typed words, we’re off to a good start for the narration of horrible customer week.

Irrational BCO request time. It’d be absolutely awesome if someone could read these stories out loud, then I could go to the audio link and listen. I absolutely love every instant of my Monday BCO joy, but often spend a good chunk of an hour reading them, thereby avoiding work. I’d be able to multitask listening while…

the bus cables themselves are universal, it’s just those pesky connectors.

I’m not excusing the behavior, and do not intend to fall victim to Pinkam’s law, but re: the Greg Danvers Papa Johns story, the customers had previously been to Papa Murphy’s which makes take-n-bake, which is take the uncooked pizza home and cook it yourself. They also sell raw cookie dough. I’m sure that in…

dirty needles from the cortisone shot? no bandaid or a non-sterile one?