This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

“You sayin’ there’s a room available?”  - J. Tomsula

Adam Gase’s beard is the male coach’s equivalent of the Elizabeth Holmes voice, right? 

Can you direct me to where the line forms to punch this walking penis in the face.

“Darnold’s Spleen Explodes After Injured Jets Lineman Gives up 11 Brutal Sacks in 1st Quarter” followed by “Bleeding Labrum Lineman & Spleen-less Sam Successful at the Hague: court orders team to give each $50 million a year forever and surrender all draft picks for next 18 years”

I would have gone a slightly different route. I’d agree to call him “doctor” but I’d tell him that his real last name will never, ever be used. He’d have to basically choose between maintaining our previous arrangement or constantly being referred to as “Dr. Feelgood,” “Dr. Nick Riviera,” “Dr. Demento,” “Dr. Mengele,” …

I bundled my cloud insurance with tiger rock coverage. Sitting pretty...

Maybe he should have disguised it as a United States Treasury bond.

Since you can really never have too many:

Cant wait for Joe Soucheray to weigh in on the “differences” between Thielen and Diggs!

he’ll be back next year after changing his name to Metta World War. 

He’s got a 33-32 conference record, in one of the softest major conferences in the country. At WSU, he’s been to the New Mexico, Sun, Holiday, Holiday and Alamo bowl. In 17 full seasons, he’s won zero conference championships.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

Malcolm Gladwell: “All I’m saying is that jet fuel can’t melt Sandusky’s penis.”

What idiot called it Jalen wanting to leave the Jaguars and not Ramsey Boltin’?

Going to be interesting how he spins this against the roadrunner. 

the 90-yarder is the best because Williams had the safety lined up per usual 20 yards back and Odell still ran by him like the safety was Gregg and Odell was a head coaching job

After watching Hard Knocks I'm pretty sure all head coaches are as smart as a wad of cum.

Apparently so does his wife.

His wife was equally unimpressed with her second-place trophy.