Pedro's '99 season (23-4, 9.7 WAR) was one of the all-time greatest seasons ever put together by a baseball player. And he didn't even win the MVP, because two douchebags—including Lavelle E. Neal of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune—left him off the ballot altogether. Of course, Pedro's 2000 season was in some respects…

There are plenty of talented people in every field, not just punting, so by your logic every employee should keep his/her mouth shut, because we're all replaceable. Of course, if I was running an organization, I would want to have the best possible person, not just one who was talented, and if that person happened to…

Mitch McConnell's #1 goal as Senate Majority Leader was, in his own words, to deny Barack Obama a second term. That's a pitiful ambition, and he was destined to fail even at that.

"We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!"

Maybe Jaime Lannister have been the way to go.

I was at the Tournament Player's Championship in 2003, I think it was. I had been over served and was sitting drunkenly on the grass hill overlooking the island green on #17. Tom Lehman's group came to the tee. I had alway had a strong anti-Lehman bias because of he was one of the pioneers of the PGA "God Squad." …

Mike Mayock is horrible. If "That's what you get with a veteran quarterback" counted as a cliche, his chart would be solid blue and would go past 100.

When I change my kid's diaper...

Don't you ever learn?

One key controversy is missing: How to butter toast. On the one hand, you have the restaurant style of buttering, which involves either the cook using a brush with melted butter and ends up soaking the middle of the bread and leaving 70% uncovered, or the waitress taking dry toast and putting a scoop of chilled,…

What am I, Galactus?

"Show me a quarterback?"

Actually, that's just the USDA food Nazi guideline. 145 is fine for turkey breast, and 165 will make turn your turkey into dust. Cook the legs and thighs a little longer, or put the whole bird on top of a cooking stone that is heated to 500 degrees and the legs and thighs will cook perfectly when the breast hits 145.

Alton Brown changed his mind when he heard about the "cook the stuffing first" idea. True story—I read it on the interwebs.

Stuffing from inside the bird is far more flavorful and moist. However, it is true that the turkey juices that make it wonderful can be toxic if they are not cooked to a high enough temperature, and that cooking the stuffing to, say, 145 degrees will mean that your turkey is overcooked and dry as an old nun's…

Andy Dufresne: "How can you be so obtuse?"

Great article. Reminds me of the moment in "All the President's Men" when Deep Throat says to Bob Woodward, "The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things just got out of hand."

Shaughnessy is the fucking worst, but he was hardly alone in underrating the 2013 Red Sox. I went back and looked at ESPN's preseason predictions, and out of their 43 "experts", zero predicted Boston would win the East, and zero predicted that they would make the playoffs as a wild card. All four other teams in the…

Bud Selig vs. Alex Rodriguez. It hasn't been this tough to know who to root for since Hitler and Stalin.

Remember in that episode Homer's dream was to own the Dallas Cowboys. Hank Scorpio was the only one who didn't laugh at that aspiration.