Are you completely certain that he doesn’t? I’m not completely certain that he doesn’t.

The snake that ate its tail, and then vomited up its own butt.

“run, hide, fight.”

Well, crap: I was hyped to see this opening weekend but forgot all about this crap.

I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with this guy. 

Mortensen is clearly referring to Netflix’s “Jack Whitehall: Travels With My Father”, when they visit Cambodian mine-sniffing rats. Each rat represents news that’s “blowing up”, with three rats meaning the news is really big. Your welcome.

“Out Indefinitely: Pokemon Sword and Shield was released”

You should watch SNY

This is what I would imagine Tom would say, “It pays quite well, thank you. Since I have a fetish for taller than me women, my options are endless. My biggest hurdle there is getting them to sign a NDA and joining my cult. Speaking of hurdles, yeah I have those written out of my contracts for obvious reasons.”

I would love to see Tom get asked, “What’s it like to be a short old guy in a tall young guy’s world?”

She was invited for racial click-bating that they wanted and that’s exactly what they got.

This is a naive argument. How much he makes relative to any other job is irrelevant. He’s looking at his peers and that’s the only perspective that “matters”. If he plays corner only, he’ll make a lot more money, like TE’s wanting to be classified as WRs for contract negotiations. His mom seems to understand the…

Sign for a kid, he sells it on ebay once.  Dunk on a kid, he has a bar story for life.

Which would you really rather have when you grow up?

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Five bucks says the Patriots knew about this. Five more says the Raiders didn't.

I think I can sue AB for assault after reading that text message. It definitely gave me brain damage.

I felt like a David Attenborough narration would have helped the reader on this one.

Cash bail is a fucked up bullshit system. Is he likely a danger to the community? Is he a flight risk? That’s ALL judges should be considering.

if they’re looking for candidates, i know a guy who has a baseball background as a player and a business background as an exec for a video game company. he’s also got a real handle on social media and can probably procure state funding like a badass.