Serious question for those who do:
Why do people watch ESPN for anything other than live events?

It’s back to accounts receivin’ on the street!

it’s not, though! berkeley man explains it, and he’s smarter than both of us!

Please Excuse My Dumb Algebra Story

Thank you for your service. 

Vampire Weekend’s discography is the official soundtrack of gentrification  

“Lois, a Khalil Mack is a Khalil Mack, but Clelin Ferrel could be anything! He could even be a Khalil Mack, and you know much we’ve wanted one of those!”

Another anecdote from the book is that the caddies at one of the clubs Trump belonged to grew so accustomed to him kicking his ball onto fairways that they nicknamed him “Pele.”

Yep, I saw the sketch LOL. It did incorporate that one concept of white women calling the manager that has been a running joke for years. So wait ... you mean the same concept CAN’T be done over and over again in Hollywood? HWHAT??? O_O

“I better use Tic-Tac just in case I start kiss her. You know I automatically attract to beautiful—I just start kiss them. It like magnet. Just kiss. I don’t wait even. And when you star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”

I think he’s one of those people who sounds smart and reasonable until you hear him talk about something you’re an expert on. Then he sounds so uneducated that it makes you wonder about everything else he’s said.

Counterpoint: this is better than literally anything else he would potentially otherwise be doing. Let’s just load Pebble Beach and see him in two years.

You’re describing all dogs, basically. I mean, all dogs except for this one:

It may seem like Kyrie is contradicting himself but it’s like the old saying goes, “There’s two sides to every planet.”

That 9/11 Jets tweet was something else, though. I feel like it deserved to win.

Slate: This dog is neither heroic nor adorable. We should stop celebrating him entering an area where dogs are not welcome. 

makes u think

The players that quit must forfeit this week’s salary.

Of course Fallon knows who Lebron James is.