Sadly, this car will not grow up into a beautiful swan. It's just ugly.

Bring out your dead!

@Barb-A-Rod: He's more of a Simple Jack.

"I asked God for an outfielder. He gave me a priest."

Alright people. RS2 Avant. I'm kind of steamed so I can't make full sentences. Perhaps people just need to be educated.

You forgot the

@Chris Hanson's Axe: This is no joke of a dick. Didn't you see that picture???

A vote against Taurus SHO and Saab 99 is a vote against the spirit of Jalopnik. Plus, every time you don't vote for them, a kitten dies.

Repeat after me:

It reads about like his music criticism, and how I feel about this meatloaf. Shallow and pedantic.

@snapoversteer 'bout to get told: +1 lunar landscape

Waxing Off, by any other name, sucks just as much.

Still faster than my first car. A 1985 Buick Century. May she rest in pieces.

You know, I'm fine with the mod. Like everyone else says, he's got some balls. And probably some really smooth balls, as inferred from the license plate reading "BABYOIL."

Save us, Nightmare Ant, you're our only hope!

@støke has the whole seat, but only needs THE EDGE!: Bravo sir. Bravo.

@telecomic was a race car driver: Mine was 3lbs of jimmy dean sausage wrapped in 3 lbs of bacon, with pepperoni, peppers, mozzarella, mushrooms, and onions inside.

Hey Drew-

Needs more Raptor.

I saw an BMW X6M on the way to work this morning. I felt like I'd seen a really ugly yeti.