True story: got ar rested for a dui and the biggest dicks working. I just stripped naked and greased my self with hand sanitizer and ran around. Ended up tased, but it was worth it.

I got married to my ex with the promise of both free lap dances AND blow jobs. In the end it cost me a house, half my savings, my 401K and 60% of my salary until show "gets back on her feet". Her strategy however is to "get back on her back" to snag the next sucker.

How do you celebrate Thanksgiving on an RV?

I can't wait to see all of the "RAPIN' CHICKS N THROWIN' PICKS" signs at their next road game.

So Reynolds almost foiled his plan to win the game? If he would have just knelt the game would have been a wrap.

Rad-o-Van is like the classic conversion van name.

here's hoping this comment will post twice. one is nut enough.

When did these NFL players become such pussies? So what, the ref was bullying him now??

Shit, I'd gladly hold my prize up high too if I scalped the Predator like that.

You're probably right, the map I was using isn't as accurate as I was lead to believe

Could you run the test on a cadaver brain and then do the standard CTE test and compare the results or would it not be possible to accurately distribute the marker in a dead brain before CAT scanning it?

I don't see how "American football" could ever be confused with "International football"..... a lame Canadian league and a few shitty games in London, not withstanding.....

Crack cocaine or not, I'd much rather hang out with Rob Ford than with anyone remotely interested in researching the technical details of Rob Ford's fashion accessories.

I assume this 'bama fan will find out where this Auburn dude lives and poison his Christmas tree.

Ugh, gave up halfway through. 79% of men value a "strong, loving marriage," and even that is evidence that men are jerks? Is there any way we can do anything right?

You can buy all those male comfort foods already made, just like you can make ice cream or buy it made.

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Hopefully this bear feeds on people who use "you guys" before everything they write/tweet/post on the Internet.

Maybe my distant cousin who emailed me recently (and who is a Nigerian prince and is sending me $14,000,000 just for providing him my bank account number) can look into the corruption.

For your handy reference, a diagram of the planet Earth lightly modified for accuracy.