It doesn't top this.

The car explodes and your whole family dies. Except your youngest son in the passenger seat, who's curiosity led him to stick that fateful quarter in dad's transmission in the first place. He survives but is forever scarred, physically by the shrapnel and mentally by the crushing guilt. He later goes on to become an…

In future news:

Muchos gracias.

How does one own $5b worth of cars? Assuming his collection averages out to $1m each, that would be 5,000 cars.

Is that maritime law?

If only this was the electoral map in the last election.....

That's terrible. I didn't think we were going to see anybody hit by a rod ever again.

Insightful. Good research.

If he can leave her for 2 hours and not notice her being gone he is marrying the right woman.

More like Zach Dork.

Don't forget Shad Khan, he's about to be indicted on fraud charges for claiming that the Jacksonville Jaguars are a professional football team

::Josh Freeman signs with Jacksonville Jaguars::

If there's a way to profit from football no one watches, the Jaguars would like to know about it.

Duval County drunkards have filed suit against Pete Prisco, citing unlawful use of likeness, defamation of character, and all around douche-nozzlery.

This time when you locate it lets not all e-mail him and drive by his house. Maybe then he'll actually get caught...

Part of it is in the presentation. Because it's on the NFL Network, it doesn't FEEL like you're watching an important game. It feels like you're watching a second tier ACC game.

In the case of Jezebel, that demographics is women