Her time will come but, every Oscar season, Amy Adams puts on a series of B+ gowns and almost wins awards for her reliable B+ work in B+ films.

Whenever I want to make myself feel like a hopeless spinster, I remember that three different women married Gary Ridgway.

No. It is the job of every black person to fix The Hood before enjoying anything for themselves.

Let’s turn our faces and rake this warm coleslaw dude and his opinions into the cookout trash bag where they belong.

To paraphrase Kirk van Houten “Awww, let the taxpayers worry about it.”

Does the Ozone Awards include a category for theater?

I’m disappointed to find that everything I’ve learned about cholesterol was apparently a hoax.

How awful. For someone. I assume.

Of course, brooches can also be fucking racist. I’m mad at myself for being so naive.

“Do you think your views have changed since you were ‘at your peak’?” I asked.

So this guy, who wants Roy Moore to be elected, saw a hot mic and thought “I need to tell that kiddie brothel story? 🤔

His 1950s fantasies extend to language as well.

Here it comes...

I am in no way an expert in the genre, but I thought the ladies were styled in a manner reminscient of K-Pop, as opposed to the Spice Girls.

Aww, man. Please let Desus and Mero be clean. The last two years have been brutal. Just let me have nice things. Please.

Mr. Tonga was so good-looking, but this is weird and gross and I feel bad for him.

The N word? Theirs. Dreadlocks? Theirs too. War bonnets? Kimonos? Mendhi? Bindis? Keffiyehs? How dare you deprive them of dress-up?

$5 says Lauer and/or NBC will say it was installed as a terrorist keeper-outer.

Oh fuck. The Quotation Loophole.

100% chance he says it when asked about the Niger attacks.