“I quit in 30 days!”

I’m sure you’re correct, but, would such a thing even matter anymore?

A King Ralph incident is all that could save us now.

Thanks Becky.

I was a sophomore in college on September 11th, and I have vivid memories of waking up early that day, noticing how perfectly clear the sky was, fucking around on the internet before 10 AM physics, then only hearing about the attacks when I got to class and began chatting with my classmates. I’ll never forget that the…

We owe him an open mind...

Trump would actually be justified in filing for bankruptcy to avoid paying for this monstrosity.

I have so many questions.

At the rate that he continually compliments himself, I don’t even think Donald Trump believes Donald Trump has a big dick. If he had the slightest bit of proof, he’d be telling us about it all day, like his tax-dodging brilliance, and how high his TV ratings were ten years ago.

Respect

Someone’s been watching Last Man on Earth.

“The FBI—and I’ve been saying this for years—the FBI is rigged. Everybody knows it. EVERYBODY!” 

Trump’s getting bodied by a left-winger

Pffft. Math has always been rigged.

I pretended to like Jack Johnson’s music for a dude I wanted to hook up with, then never hooked up with said dude.

A black baby wouldn’t have anything to lose, though.

Nah. That’s the face of a woman who’s on the clock.

I miss Dave and I’ll definitely be watching, but I just can’t imagine him as an SNL host.

Darius Rucker’s been had that market cornered.

He would love to tell us, but, his advisors have recommended that he wait until after his imaginary audit is completed.