Five words: Nine. Hour. Wu. Tang. Musical.

I haven't thought much about this story in years (or how deeply embarrassing the title is), but it would only take the tiniest bit of manipulation to turn Glass and the Machines of God into a full-blown musical.

I like the idea, but I hardly ever eat non-Bundt cakes with fondant icing.

Ciara wouldn't have been able to become sort of famous if Aaliyah was still around. If any one artist's career has benefited from Aailyah's absence, it is hers.*

Unflavored ice milk

It's a medical fact that your walking-to-the-lightswitch muscles atrophy a lot faster than your mattress-body-slam muscles do.

Jimmy Fallon's hand acting is the best part of his Rock impression.

"Oops, I'm finished! Call yourself a cab!"

Scottie Pippen!

The first two that come to mind are the SNPP crow call and Jazz getting thrown out of the Banks house.

"Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" is probably my darkest, guiltiest guilty pleasure.

I hope he pulls through. I mean, the guy saw a prostitute stab a clown.

I stand corrected.

I'm so happy my girls are back that I can't even get mad about episode 2's blatant Laverne Cox fanservice. Yes, I totally believe that someone decided to donate a sequined cocktail dress to a Dress for Success-type charity, and that another volunteer chose it as part of the wardrobe for a fake prison job fair. That…

They'll continue to deliver cigarettes for weeks after being decapitated.

Locked Up: Aloft

This is one of those links you click while praying for O'Neal.

It's like Forrest's ass wound is right in your face!

I can't believe Tupac's cousin had the pull to turn a single-day kite festival into a four-day event.

Is this enough? Can we just finish this dude off by the end of the week?