Wait'll you read my Deadly Towers erotic fan fiction.

Also "awaken an ache, they tell only lies." Aches are the bat-like creatures in Adventure of Link.

Mascarade is my personal favorite of the moment. I recently got the new expansion pack (whole slate of new characters, plus one new location card tied to one of them similar to how the Judge in the original was tied to the bank/court/whatever) but haven't had a chance to try the new characters out yet.

Just a heads-up, the first bit of booting up a Wii U for the first time is tapping icons to sync the console to the gamepad, then either making a Mii or importing one from your 3DS. THEN you get the fun of connecting to your wi-fi network, logging into/signing up for Nintendo Network, and FINALLY downloading all the…

As a teenager, I once played Teleroboxer for over an hour and when I stopped and picked my head back up, everything was dark for a good solid five minutes. It was the middle of the afternoon and I was sitting in a bright orange bedroom with large windows, but all I saw was fuzzy darkness. I just sat in place hoping it…

I've got both and I really prefer the screen clarity and battery life of the XL. That said, when the New models come stateside, I'll likely be switching to the normal-sized New 3DS. The improved viewing angles solve my biggest problem with the original 3DS, and I'm all about those swappable faceplaces (the New 3DS XL…

There are 64 levels in the proper campaign, plus each one of those has three collectables and one extra objective, plus a good solid handful of bonus levels you can unlock along the way (tip: some bonus levels are auto-unlocked if you have Super Mario 3D World save data on your Wii U). There's a good bit of replay…

I've played them all (except Karting) and I haven't seen much adult content. They implemented a pretty good tagging system for community levels where users can briefly describe the content of each stage, and nobody really seems to be trolling anybody in the LBP community, so I think you're probably safe. Still, adult…

Yes, any stages you've made, any players you've favorited, any costumes and stickers you've unlocked in previous LBP games, they're all totally accessible here, though I've been having difficulty with some of my old paid DLC packs.

Oof, that's even more upsetting. Thanks for pointing that out.

More than anything, this episode clarified the dip in animation quality during Book Two. Seeing blocky and lifeless Korra argue with Unalaq followed immediately by the swift and fluid motion of Zahir sucking the air out of Korra's straining body drove home the shift between the two studios more than any tumblr gif set…

Agnello, at least, told me he unlocked everybody just by playing one-stock matches in rapid-succession. Easy-p'zeasy.

Yesssss. I caught a handful of Q And Not U shows before they split in 2005 and the crowd would always flip out when Chris launched into that "S-O-F". Mostly I think we were all excited because it meant he'd break out the melodica for that ending.

I saw a teenage guy with the exact same premise, the teeth of the keyblade were shaped like a TARDIS, and he was dressed as sort of a cartoonified Tom Baker Doctor. My buddy Matt Hawkins photographed a bunch of the best cosplayers we saw there, check them out on his Instagram here. You can kinda see my reflection in…

It still looks absolutely delectable on my iPod Touch. The text bits are more comfortable, I think, on the smaller screen, but the tablet has that nice feeling of swiping over landscapes with your wrist rather than a thumb. I'd say bring up the app store on your device and watch the preview video, see how comfortable…

I loved the third one on the DS, Into The Inferno. It abandoned the graphics and tone of the first two games in favor of chibi cel-shaded characters like the Avatar shorts they aired during Book Three and included as bonuses on the DVDs, and it plays as a blatant rip-off/homage to The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass…

We'll have to do a coffee shop/dirty diner playlist sometime.

It's a great song indeed, and we featured it in our old music column on Gameological v.1.

The head image is from Kevin Wada, who produced the luscious painted covers for every issue.

1) Woah there, Hitler
2) Mountain Dew and Doritos
3) Corruption in games journalism
4) All relations with Disqus are handled by Soupy T. Cat Accounting, we'd refer you to their services except they're preoccupied trying to catch that red spot that keeps moving all along the wall and floor
5) Johnny Boy