I think the point is that he’s always saving minorities, women, and poors...as if those individuals can’t help themselves or never thought to.

I am so here for any and all Matt Damon hate.

“Slack” must be some hip new thing that, at 37, has already passed me by. Judging by the fact that “Slack” is never defined in this post, I should already know what it is, and thus be ashamed that I don’t.

What the hell is a slack?

My bfs dog is the best dog in the world. I love her so much I cant stand it.

A Tinder for dog lovers, eh?

It’s like the old saying - people in glass houses shouldn’t throw minestrones.

I didn’t realize reading a bunch of soup puns would make my day so much better, but here we are.

Good pho him

Uhoh

But it is a sandwich

We can’t punish all law-abiding soup drinkers just because of one bad apple. What we need is more good guys with hotter soup and in bowls that are easier to throw at people.

This whole thing could have been avoided had Smith just stepped back and taken a deep broth…

A one game suspension seems fair for detrilentil conduct.

The problem isn’t soup, it’s violent cooking shows.

Pictured: Assistant coach

An alternative headline: “J.R. Smith Has No Chili”.

True.

Interestingly, saying “Tom Brady’s son’s kiss” takes about 1 Tom Brady Son’s Kiss to say.