“If all of us do all we can, we can once again, in our time, restore the sanctity of life to the center of American law,”

Ew.

“Please don’t look at this”

They asked people would a significant raise cause you to end an existing relationship or put off seeking one out all together. Almost half said yes, and that the tipping point was around a $36k increase.

Wait, though...are they being asked if they’d dump someone they’re already in a relationship with, or just put off finding one until they reach a certain level of financial security?

Shit, for a million dollars, my husband would be mad if I didn’t cheat on him.

My boyfriend once asked me “Would you cheat on me for a million dollars?”

I was curious about that as well. I’m no expert on female anatomy (ask my wife...), but I was under the impression that grabbing a vulva was a bit more involved than copping a feel. Then again, I’m from Rigel VII so it’s not like we have the same anatomy...

So, Keenum is a free agent after the journeyman turned in a magical season that no front office in its right mind would count on him repeating.  

I think he is. He was so damn amazing in the playoffs. Those windows he threw into in the Super Bowl....holy crap.

Two’s company, three’s a crowd

Lawrence and Pratt make a very good couple since both are equally annoying.

(Perhaps “Colostomy Bag?”)

1.) After over one year of Trump, I believe that Barf Bag needs a new name. It is no longer sufficient. May I suggest hemorrhaging bag? Any other suggestions?

Weird how touching someone comes to your mind.

Oh thank god barstool reader is here

Update: Shouting idiot has been identified as callmeisaac04

please explain....