Will you be streaming it?

I feel like a lot of people don’t jump in to help those who need it because they just assume someone else will. I have to wonder if there actually was others who did just walk by and did nothing.

It took me much longer than it should have to realize both these arms don’t belong to one person. Was baffled why someone would paint fingernails on only one hand.

I have a hard enough time migrating from my couch to my bed.

This may be the greatest insult the Browns have ever gotten.

They need to put a “Sex with girls not included” sticker on them.

Fuck every guy that takes out a guitar to impress a girl. Fuck you!

A few years ago I saved a baby raccoon whose mother had died. Bottle-fed it several times daily. Then it got big and got mean as shit. Had to put it out of the house, the ungrateful bastard.

I love that GIF so fucking much

As much as I love Murray, I still have to wonder if he would have as much success behind a team that isn’t firing on all cylinders. He’s made great saves, but it helps when you’re facing 20 less shots than your opponent.

My camera phone is out before you can say “Awwww."

Good thing they have waterproof phones now.

If a witness saw the passenger, the deceased, grabbing the wheel wouldn’t that put more of the blame on her?

People are really pushing for an early death by me

You obviously don’t know the life I’ve lived.

2 years? I’ll take it.

I had a friend who was massive like him and ended up having enlarged heart when he died. No one wants to do it but we really need to have those doctor checks every year or so.

I can say the same thing about your username. GoT and Who are my favorite shows to nerd out for.

I’m a man who has been blackout drunk many times. Even with serious “clouded judgement” moments there was never a time where I thought “I should have sex with this unconscious girl”. You either have morals or you don’t. He doesn’t.

Things like this scare the shit out of me. I’m 27 and so outta shape and people like him end up passing. How long do I have?