I found one. He is a BABE. My husband is tattooed, sensitive, liberal, feminist, a beast in bed, funny, sharp, kind, cultured, tolerant, hot as fuck, and has the BEST stories. Sometimes I'll just go and look at old Marines picture of him holding an M-16 and sitting stoically in the back of a truck and swoon a…

Hey-O! Don't forget Texas' little cousin, Louisiana. Our drill teams march in Mardi Gras parades.

Dear Lindy,

Wait...and of course you don't have to answer this...is your father's name Carl? I think I know him and if I don't, your dad has a doppelganger whom I love dearly (in a daughterly way) and if it is your dad, I love him dearly. And I probably do anyway. What an awesome guy.

Beautiful story.

Exactly. Call law enforcement. They are trained to take care of it. It's so easy to step outside or around the corner and dial 911. Most of the cases they deal with are (sadly) DV ,at least here in NOLA.

Hey girl, I worked at a vet's office, so we had a lot of senior animals. Let me tell you, 14 is a beautiful, ripe, perfect age. After that they really start to hurt and can't really eat and smell and hunt. I know this sounds like cold comfort, but it sounds like you are a great fur mommy. I wish I was there to let my…

I have that same problem as Anna's mom (hilarious sentence-great timing btw) but it's because I have a head injury that straight up makes it nearly impossible to tell white people apart (a form of face-blindness). My Mexican husband thinks this is hiiiiiiiiilarious. My two best friends are Vietnamese and Bi-racial and…

BAM! You're awesome. Fuck that dude.

Bahahaha! I know old biddies just like that. Thank you for giving her a good one-two for me. Does she happen to be a member of the local Baptist church? Does she wear lots of loud, quilted fabric?

Can I tell y'all something? I cry every time I read any Woolf because I will never, ever, ever, ever in a million years be as good as her. Also, her sentences are so stunning.

I'm tired. You tired? Shave or don't. Whatever, just don't make other women feel bad about their choice; ain't yer body, ain't yer choice. You wanna be a sphinx cat? They're cute. You want to be a tibetan mastiff? They're cute too. Or a monkey or frog or a bee or a person? Who cares? IT AIN'T OUR BUSINESS HOW PEOPLE…

Hey you. You wanna be pube pals? We could use mine to give them tiny little afros or beards or their own pubes. We could even make Hobbit voodoo dolls.

Dudes and wimmins, let's stop replying to TheAdlerlan. He loves the attention. This is the same guy who said, "Jews are a religion not a race." in order to get out of the greys. Let's keep him there. It's kind of like arguing with a three-year-old, like this, except less cogent and less cute:

This is amazing.

I was that kid who got beaten and I don't mean in the overly exaggerated form of the Southern vernacular. My dad whipped me with a belt or extension cord until I had stripes of bruises down my back and ass until I was 16, sometime because he said I had a defiant tone. My mother threw things in my face and locked me in…

Portal and Portal 2 foreeeeeeever! Also, the first Dragonage, the PC version is better, but the XBox is still fun. Skyrim rules. Do some Fallout 3 and New Vegas. I actually love the hell out of Borderlands 1&2, though the DLC is questionable at best. These are all games that have powerful, non-sexualized female…

Amen.

Oh dudes, I have a latex allergy so anytime I want to wear a bra, I get horrific itchy bumps all up under my tittays and on my back. Does anyone have any suggestions? Mine are teensy little nearly Bs.

Well friend, you can believe whatever you want. My reasons are completely practical (and I suppose emotional) and I don't need to justify it to you or anyone else. I won't hurt my family or myself again. Period. I don't have a problem with you and probably shouldn't have engaged in the first place. Have a good one,…