Our gender reveal was when our doctor went, “Yeah, it’s a girl.” We then took a picture of the ultrasound to my dad, when we had dinner at Olive Garden together. I’m not saying I’m the greatest American alive, but it would probably be fitting.

This new trend just needs to full stop right away. Where is there for a society to go when this is being celebrated? If there’s a hill worth dying on, it’s this one: we must stop, at all costs, Cubs fans from procreating.

Yes.

State Sovereignty: A conceptual belief held by certain politicians who see no irony in their call for federal level decisions on weapons, abortions, or gay marriage.

Time to get back on the fantasy sports train again

Tottenham Bonespur

May 2019 - “Beitar Trump Jerusalem announces that they have declared bankruptcy.”

Pictured: The Celtics defending Ben Simmons

They just need to actualize their weakness.

BE BEST!

I for one was unaware that you could hit Tom Brady in the head.

Probably just should have used the japanese translation and referred to him as Shiba Inu.

Animal control’s just going to kill it too...

I mean in fairness to this guy, the ball never should’ve been passed back to him in the first place. It looks to me like he tried to respond to the striker’s pressure by going down and trying to get it with his hands until he remembered that the pass had come from his own teammate so he couldn’t. Even if he had…

If you add 911 to the front of the page, he’ll call you back faster.

Looks like he was just gonna slide and grab the ball with his arms/hands... but realized too late that he couldn’t do that (since the ball was kicked to him by a teammate).

I was gonna say your top 5 Beatles song list was garbage, but then I saw you liked Rush, and everything made sense.

Do the unwritten rules apply to people who can’t read or write?

In his next at bat, the kid was beaned by Justin Verlander