'Pipe Drag's Too Slow; 'Boarders Not Getting High.

Pardon our french.

Perhaps he accidentally used the Unsafe Face Water.

"I can see them from my house!"

Looks to me like he was chasing one of Sochi's waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're use to.

I love all blanket statements

So...who wants to tell Putin that those are both male tigers?

Ah, right, sorry, I forgot to include the link. We always post a bare-bones nuts-and-bolts version of the recipe over at my personal Kinja blog, for people who are just looking for a recipe and don't want to do a bunch of reading. Here's this week's:

Lemon-lime Gatorade is the only Gatorade that matters.

"Wow, that guy's got a huge dick!"

"120 pounds," quoth the Ravens. "Nevermore."

Thunderdome this, thunderdome that...look, can't we all just get BEYOND thunderdome?

People complain about hockey season dragging into summer, so it's refreshing to see them hoist the cup in January.

Dancevic says he was hallucinating before he fainted, and thought he saw a certain cartoon Beagle: "I was dizzy from the middle of the first set and then I saw Snoopy and I thought, 'Wow Snoopy, that’s weird.'"

I've seen The Californians on SNL. I'd ban that shit, too, if I had a chance.

He was obviously misquoted from the press conference after Sunday's game: "I'm not Jay. I really like winnin'."

Because refusing to eat an entire type of cuisine is dickish. Only a child would categorically say "I REFUSE TO EAT INDIAN EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE WANTS IT!!" Only someone allergic to chicken would have a problem with tandoori chicken for any reason other than stubbornness. It's just fucking baked chicken with mild…

I'm going to assume the 26 year old guy is Lorde's boyfriend.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

This isn't surprising. I mean, let's face it—Tonga only pawn in game of ice.