If you like it then you shoulda passed the bill on it, if you like it then you shoulda passed the bill on it. Don't be mad that they ain't made a law of it, if you liked it then you shoulda passed the bill on it OH OH OH

when I lived in dorm I made a shelf to feed the crows......they stopped coming after I fed them the wasabi almonds......

It's funny, my entire family and extended family are very liberal and "do what you want" but this baby is like a zombie virus. I would have thought everyone would be focused on new grandbaby, but I was mistaken - they get greedy! Thankfully my dad and stepmother are sympathetic to us and the comments seem to have…

Um, I would not recommend this.

My mother went through a Farm Phase when I was growing up. 120 some odd acres, a lab, a couple husky/St Bernard mutts, numerous quarter horses, a very fancy mule, uncountable random stray cats, and two Great Danes. She also thought chickens would be an excellent idea. Oh my goodness yes, let's do have chickens. Thus,…

RIGHT? Oh my god if I were her I would've spent the past ten years hiding at home for a couple of months, and then going out with one of those fake pregnancy prosthetics. Lather, rinse, repeat forever.

My high school was most concerned with wallet chains. Remember wallet chains? Ah, the nineties.

It only cost $1375? Too bad. It should have cost all the buyer's money, because a person having 30 year old cake whose name is not Havisham deserves to be separated from said money.

I'm working on a project at work. Of the people assigned to this project, I am the only hourly employee, and the lowest-paid (naturally). This afternoon, I was called into the guy running the project (in his defense, he probably didn't realize I was hourly). I get lectured about how I didn't respond to the emails he…

I never knew that watermelons and handguns went so well together.

"Can we just cut to the chase and admit that people who listen to country music are generally dumb?"

I know it's anecdotal evidence but all 3 of my Subaru's will see between 25-35mpg all day, everyday. That's not real bad considering the AWD on each. Not Prius mileage but I'm satisfied. Neither are they overly large. All 3 are smaller in size and weight than a Camry or Accord.

Maybe if we started walking around naked, the misogynistic fat-shaming designers will be so repulsed that they will be forced to design clothes for us. A Naked Strike! "We refuse to wear ANY clothes until acceptable designs are easily accessible to us."

Never mind all that. "Cute" car, forsooth. I didn't learn how to drive a six-speed manual so I could NOT drive a Carrera.

It seems fake, but I don't know. My aunt made $7500 last week just by using her computer.

Oh yeah- I got a pixie thinking it would be all easy and no fuss- boy was I wrong! Elbow length hair was far less maintenance for me- and that's what I'm going back to.

Who's the child's mother, then?

I found it difficult to masturbate to these.

Ramen Noodle Truck Stop man was (as I mentioned) another blind date set up by my mom. My mom who neglected to mention he was a truck driver (a noble profession, and I'm not saying I wouldn't date a truck driver), and he neglected to mention it when he called and invited me over to his place. The time he gave in the…

Okay mine is kind of gross and probably definitely not going to win, but it is the story of how I lost my virginity.