I’m partial to “rooster that got into the house and has to be restrained beneath a metal wastebasket” and “jack o lantern that at least 10 people have been using as a toilet.”

I think Stand by REM ought to be in the playlist.

I thought this was just called buttchugging. Is that not what this is?

Surprised you didn’t go for the “black hole sun” joke.

Siemian was the guy under center for this travesty:

Their record was 14-2 and you know it.

I’ve never had Promite! I think I’m actually more familiar with Marmite than Vegemite. If you would be so kind, please enlighten me as to what the differences are - I just experience them as super-concentrated umami in much the same way that hot sauce is concentrated capsaicin.

*I actually completely understand if you dislike it

Vegemite is great! Fight me.

On the one hand, they were pretty good QBs, or at least they were for a non-traditional football school. On the other hand, NU has a long-standing habit of Brownian 4th quarter meltdowns (see for example the game they lost to Michigan on a buzzer beater field goal that Michigan didn’t even have the ability to call…

The new orange ones rank absolute rock bottom.

To be fair, every time they talk about their hometown they shit down its back.

When was the last time you said “I really like this new band from Tampa?”

Wait a second - it’s the tone. I thought she said it like “it’d be stupid if people thought we needed a HWCU,” not “it’s stupid that we have HBCUs.” One sentence, two very different meanings.

Can someone explain to me what's offensive here? To me it sounds like she's complaining about people who think white people ought to have a history month and stuff like that. I feel like I'm missing a big detail somewhere.

Nagano 1998. I was 6. Growing up in the south, I hadn’t ever seen so much snow before in my life.

When I clicked on the lick for this from Deadspin, it took me to a nonexistent page. It was adampash.com/ (don’t click that, I have no idea what site that is), but everything after the slash was correct to this URL. You might want to correct that or find someone who can.

Could you explain what’s so bad about the bracket? I’m only the most casual of college basketball fans, but I am an avid consumer of incompetence blowing up in the NCAA’s face.

I have no idea what this is but it's terrific

I hadn’t really heard about aspirational crushes or friend crushes before, but now that I hear those terms, they definitely apply to me. I know people who I wish I was as witty/observational/etc as, and compliments means a lot from them. I’ve heard some in the asexual community refer to crushes without a…