Years ago, my friends and I would watch this video at least once a week. It is never not unintentionally hilarious. Although that may be because we frequented the version with Benny Hill layered over top

At least it wasn’t landmines. Those are the greatest dangers posed on a soccer pitch.

Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you.

My vote goes to A Giant Dog. This is my song of the summer (it’s the Pickathon Pumphouse Sessions version, which I might even like more than the studio version).

you son of a bitch.

Maybe it’s time you embraced something new....With arms wide open.

Obvious misprint - the linked article says 31 per million people per year. Since our population is about 320 million, that’s about 9,920, or 27 people per day.

Very.

Yep... it’s the wrong way round.

Is it just me or was that headline kind of confusing?

In Japan, where gun homicides are even rarer, the likelihood of dying this way is about the same as an American’s chance of being killed by lightning

Gold medal to you.

Don’t apologize for using your brain, just stop doing it.

Were you the guy standing behind me at the DMV today? Longest 10 minute wait of my life.

When you kick a man down under, you hear his scream, it sounds like thunder.

Draymond: THAT’S MY PURSE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!

Arrested Development isn’t a Larry David production, so I’m not sure where you’re going with that.

I was talking to someone about this bill yesterday and I just don’t understand what these people are scared of? Do they seriously think that a man with a full beard is just going to waltz into the ladies room with impunity? And if he did...what’s he going to do in there? Stare at a bunch of closed doors? And is ANYONE…

Nope.

Ah, you’re right. I shouldn’t post this stuff because some of you might have seen it already. Fuck everybody else who hasn’t and comes here to see this stuff, it’s all about you. My bad for saving this for a few days so I could have something to post on days I’m working on longer stories.