Hey, your friendly neighborhood ex-bouncer and security person here.

Men are lame.

Because universities have money.

This is a bit dramatic (I assume intentionally so...).

The day I suck a man's dick for any other reason than because I goddamn felt like it is the day every single one of you needs to put a fucking bullet in my head.

Rihanna is such a fucking queen even the women are fighting over her. SLAY. You know you've got it when goddess Naomi Campbell is putting it on the line for you. But who can blame her when they create this kind of fucking MAGIC together?

Can we please get Sunday night sign off back??

So time for everyone to post their story of the girl they know from high school or college who totally fucked John Mayer.

So my husband just re-enforced why I love him so much. He was talking about how at work they were getting ready to interview a woman for a programming position, and some of his co-workers were making inappropriate comments. He didn't let it slide and called them out on it. I told him how proud I was of him, and how…

I'd be more interested in a movie called 50 Shades of Bey where Jesse Williams plays a naive, shy man who is lured into a life of kinky shit with the mysterious and sexy CEO billionaire Beyonce. Black BDSM couple ftw.

KATY YOU'RE NOT MY MOM AND YOU NEVER WILL BE I HATE YOU NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME DAD HOW COULD YOU

I really really love Channing Tatum but really, the cover of the Hollywood issue? Surely there are some more qualified actors that could be on the cover in his place.

I guess the irony of putting the brother in the back was lost on Annie.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I'm beginning to think Suge Knight might not be a good person.

Also, I love thinking about how Biggie And Jay Z portrayed themselves in public while behind the scenes they were writing all these lyrics about fucking big dicks

Man attacks woman by trying to steal credit for her work and her creativity, what else is new? There's movies about this. Nobel Prizes have been stolen like this. Sit down, Scrofula.

I mean, he's not wrong that she started the "twitter war." It wasn't particularly mean or anything, but she didn't have to comment and the only purpose it served was to mock him. No need to publicly take shots at someone whose number is in your cellphone. Not that I really care, because #TeamNicki4Lyfe and SB has…

you know biggie wrote a lot of Kim's early stuff, and jay z wrote a lot of foxxy brown's stuff, but you know what they also did? Wrote awesome songs themselves all the time. I'm not saying this dude is lying, but he's totally lying.

As a CT native and a health care professional, this situation disturbs me. My college health care ethics course emphasized autonomy, beneficence, non-maleficence, and justice as the four key tenets of medical ethics. This case and the behavior of the health care professionals involved doesn't seem to be doing a great…