That was in no way what he said. If someone makes an assumption that doesn’t match social expectations (being exclusive after one or two dates) and then throws a fit after over those assumptions, that’s a red flag. Lying was never advocated.

The idea that you should be having a conversation to clarify that you and another person have similar perspectives, values, and desires on relationships (and your relationship in particular) so you can move forward is ALIEN to you?

Maybe you should start working on yourself and change that. Don’t get pissed that another guy is better than you and actually has options.

So you did! I think I read your opening, and then moved down to the letter itself xD Well, so long as we are all on the same page, now. That’s what counts.

The fault is in your premise. Both that “most” people are “monogamous”, and that most people being anything means that you can expect everyone to follow your self-imposed cultural norms.

OMG! This so much!

Great advice on the marriage thing. The biggest trip I’d done before marriage lasted about two weeks; but now I am married, and I’m writing this from Ecuador, on the tail end of a five-month trip around Latin America. And the entire trip has been so much more fun than it would’ve been if I’d gone alone. Moreover, when…

I agree, in fact traveling with kids could be 100 times better than by yourself. Going to a new place is exciting but do you remember going on vacation when you were young? How mystical and exciting a boring place like the beach is? Now realize that and seeing a kids reaction as they see a new place for the first…

You’re making assumptions, and that’s making an ass out of you and ‘mptions.

Spot on advice from the Dr., and if the second guy is really worried, he might ease his fears by reminding himselt that dating is supposed to be fun. Stopping for a minute to ask yourself if your partner is having a good time is a good thing to train yourself to do.

Lordy. I have to commend you on this stance - not condemning and advising communication. So many knee jerk reactions. And to be fair I’m more used to seeing the other side: letter writers who are the girlfriend and confused about their boyfriend’s motivations for porn and trying to separate their own attitudes from…

Porn is, quite literally, one of our oldest art forms. As soon as humans developed abstract reasoning and symbolic representation, we promptly started drawing dicks, boobs and couples pounding it on every flat surface we could find. Cave drawings, statuary, pottery, tapestries, and paintings have all been part of the…

I had to sign in from work just to commend you for this!

“making an ass out of you and ‘mptions”

Dammit, I love Dr. NerdLove. What a great read (again).

Exactly. Thank you for that. It took me a *long* time to finally realize that. I used to go through everyday thinking “Oh man, if I could just find a girlfriend, everything else in my life would just fall into place and I’d be so much happier”. And now, looking back at my life...the absolute worst points in my life…