Link should’ve said “She looks unhealthy. I’m concerned she’s at risk of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, liver disease, kidney disease, or diabetes.”

Please wait for my follow up piece “Broken, Buggy Video Games Are Good Actually.”

“You weren’t in, so we left your fantasy TV show in the shed.”

And it will get there a day late at 9pm.

If they follow the Silmarillion, it will be pretty dark and violent, but very different from GoT, it is still a black and white morality world, just that the bad guys are almost constantly winning, until they lose at the last moment.

This show will cost $1 billion but if you pay an extra $5, it’ll arrive by 8pm tomorrow.

This game is the greatest. Getting to play as Peach was incredibly exciting to me as a young girl.

That gave me pleasant flashbacks to Horizon Zero Dawn. It was always so satisfying to get a few very large beasts to fight for you.

That is awesome! This is my favorite. Actually, to his credit, Stevens doesn’t quite break - he obviously doesn’t want to offend the interviewer by making her realize she’s said something dirty - but watching him try NOT to break is absolutely hilarious. I couldn’t have done it, myself!

Chicken noises at 1:00. Lol.

Did someone in the studio call him an asshole when he started to break?

I don’t know anyone who hated Fallon for breaking.

I just hate Fallon because he’s unfunny and smug, but to each their own.

It’s not in this article for some reason, but people who own the original will be able to upgrade for a reduced price.

I cannot fucking believe I fell victim to the “buying the full price vanilla version instead of waiting for the re-release with extra content version later” racket with a fucking retro Sonic game.

Are we doing this? Because if we’re doing this then we’re going to have to address the elephant in the room:

But I think the real question we’re all asking is how many flaccid penises tall is Bowser? Everything in the Mushroom Kingdom needs to be measured in terms of Luigi’s junk.

Literally fuck this guy in the ass with a broken beer bottle. This is the type of shit you shouldn’t be reporting on.

Kotaku’s celebration and exploitation of severe compulsive disorders continues.

Eli never cared for Papa John’s anyway. “Too spicy mama, too spicy” he would say when his wife would tell him to open the hanger for the airplane.