They'll come in handy after the polar ice caps melt. Why didn't we listen to you Al Gore!

Yes they want our cars and trucks to talk to each other so that they can listen in on the conversation and violate our vehicles' rights.

I just want to know one thing. Will I need to upgrade to a quantum printer?

Remember, when you don't know how quantum computers work it's like magic!

If they are only worried about head injuries then I would suggest a design like this which will reduce the force of impact by having it absorbed by the opposing player's chest. This would greatly reduce head injuries and make for a more exciting game. Yes, yes, I know, why didn't they think of this years ago.

Wait a sec, then what the hell are these for?

Apparently I still subscribe to GQ although I've cancelled it like 12 times. Motherfucker!

How did the Kentucky Senate find out about the existing of computer code? That's the real story. I kid, I kid. No, seriously how did they find out?

Drugs are bad, mmmkay? Well, at least try to do those where the lethal dose is a far cry from the effective dose hmmm?

In space no one can hear you scream, and that's where you have to travel so you can't hear Denver fans.

fantastic!

Not Impressed.

I'll tell you why there's no electric eel! There's no electric eel because big automotive conglomerates Like Ford and GM have squashed development of an electric eel at every turn. This will continue, unfortunately, until the fossil fuel-based eels are no longer seen as money makers. Furthermore, the electric eel just…

Or you could use Drew Barrymore

I guess "New Army Truck is basically Google Car" wouldn't be as catchy, but I do have to admit that except for the whole transformation into a robot thing it truly is practically Optimus Prime.

Very cool, but not as nifty as the ziti powered arc reactor, which is completely ridiculous as everyone knows that the acidity of a red sauce reduces the half-life of palladium. Well that, plus the arc reactor isn't powered by something else, it powers other things, but since it doesn't exist I cut myself a little…

Sounds great! For me to poop on!

there's another device curved around the vertical axis which makes more sense because it is slightly rounded and might better fit the curve of your leg (ass) when it's in your pocket? maybe feels better in your hand?

I'd always wondered which intergalactic race the atari Jaguar controller was designed for because it sure as shit wasn't humans.

Yeah, i know, but it was still the best joke I could come up with on short notice.