What more? I need more fenders

The best car experience I had with my mom was a lesson in courage and decisiveness.

I was about 4 years old and my sister was about 6. The family had just bought a new Ford Pinto station wagon. White with tan interior. This was in the late 70s or early 80s. Probably 1979.

My sister and I loved to ride in the wagon…

Mom grew up in Italy and moved to the US with my Dad when he met her in Abruzzi. A young woman in a strange land who didn’t yet know the language. She learned to drive in America, in a 1963 Buick Riviera with the 425. You can’t even imagine the size difference between that car and the Italian cars she rode in when in…

the cock rings of the automotive world

The 2-door GLS version looked like a cross between an Escort, Thunderbird and Ambien:

In about 2003, my sister had $700 and needed a car. She found a red Tempo coupe with the 2.3 HSC and 5-speed.

Those are even worse than the CR-V drivers. Masters of entering the freeway at 30mph and proceeding all the way to the left lane where they will complete their entire journey at 5mph under the speed limit. They also give BMW drivers a run for their money at keeping their turn signals in mint, never used condition.

You expect me to settle for a common engine like a V-8? What, do you want me to be mistaken for a poor?

With no supercharger and a lack of power, this Durango is more of a quiet riot.

*crushes keystone on forehead and shotguns it*

But what about the 964 slantnose?

It looks like it hit some Chrysler 200s, that could cause tens of dollars worth of damage.

I mean, its early and I’m at work but...

So these are “W” configurations, 3 banks of 4 pistons. Essentially combining 3 straight four engines on one crank shaft. The “W” makes sense. But VW calls it’s engines “W” too, yet they are 4 banks of 3 pistons. They combine two small angle V6s on a single crank shaft. I think VW should have come up with another…

“Pfft. Amateur.”

“Defect in roadway” is the most hilarious thing I have read all day. This is like getting shot and saying you have experienced “perforation of a garment.”

Seriously, Jalops, this is it. The moment of truth. We need to buy this car.

This interior makes me smile. I feel bad about it, but it does.

Although the $8,000 off MSRP is tempting, you’re forgetting about the additional hidden costs associated with Mustang ownership: Attorney fees, Additional roadside-pedestrian collision insurance, weekly “I’m sorry I hit you with my racecar” Hallmark card delivery services.