The one I probably use the most is a wake-up call. And by "use", I mean "it's triggered," not "I actually wake up and stay awake".

Nah, Abby's tits are probably bigger.

The strong wind ripping apart the roof? Aftershocks from when the Hulkster slammed the NINE THOUSAND POUND ANDRE THE GIANT (who immediately died).

I don't know of any one program that does that. There's a relatively simple way to roll your own audiobooks in .m4b format, but while I was trying to find the thread that spelled everything out, I actually discovered a Windows program called Chapter and Verse that should do it all in one:…

My only thoughts are that this. sounds. awesome.

I wouldn't change the name. Evil NEVER sleeps.

I have an Acer Aspire One netbook from late 2008 (model AOA-150) that I've already upgraded (802.11n wireless, SSD, maxed out the RAM). However, I still have a free mini PCI-E slot. Has anyone done anything with this slot?

I wholeheartedly recommend they stick with Nick Foles-InALosingEffort, who's done nothing but put up numbers since college. Well, that and lose.

Bobby Bottleservice would make for a better coach than whoever the Eagles get. (Although he was better in just audio form on Comedy Bang Bang.)

Small, no. Hick, not really. You want real hicks, head to the northwest corner or east of the river.

I just assume that this is why "make a bowl out of it" projects are disqualified from hacker challenges... because there are no greater engineers in history than potheads.

Not quite turned down, but I didn't follow up on an offer once I realized it was such a bad deal. They offered me the same barely-sustainable wage I'm already making, only I'd be taking the train instead of driving (so the cost of commuting would be a wash). Oh, and they wouldn't pay me until the end of a one-month…

Precisely. I'd expect this kind of backwards thinking out of the Naugatuck Valley towns (about as close as you'll get to Connectitucky without traveling to the far east hinterlands) but Southington's got some distance from that region.

Southington? If they're "outside" of Newtown, then Putnam County is juuuuust outside of Manhattan. (This probably doesn't make sense to people outside of the area, so we'll just say that to Connecticut residents, 30 miles is, like, for-fucking-ever away. We're the land of steady habits, inferiority complexes and an…

S'okay, ESPN could've just brought in guest team-effort analyst Rasheed Wallace for that.

I have a whole ton of them (mostly from Simple Desktops, Artcore or Inkdryer, but there's a bunch from other sites such as 4chan) in a 20-minute rotation at home, while I'm using this for my work desktop.

He allegedly (although this was part of a list of urban legends, some of which were refuted by Raven during a shoot interview) got his job by whipping out his dick and laying it on Patterson's desk. (Then again, this is the same list that says Bill DeMott broke Matthew Lesko's jaw in a fight over wearing question…

Nah, Red Sox fan. Considering the highlight of this past season was the Yankees' performance in the playoffs, I'll take anything that involves Boston finishing higher than New York.

Seeing as a big part of my job is not making typos... no, I don't. ;)

He also reputedly got a job with WWE through horse meat, if you're the type to believe rumors on the Internets.