Good luck finding a candidate that'll endorse patent reform. One major party's too wrapped up in its anti-HOMERSEKSHUAL rage to realize it's a dying breed, and the other one's too busy shooting itself in the foot and failing to capitalize on any openings to be of any use. And yet, both parties have shaped the…

My soon-to-be uncle-in-law slipped one of his business cards between his phone and the case so his face pokes through the hole instead of Apple's logo.

I know this is the Internet and all, but saying that just because someone recognizes that the law regards "driving while intoxicated" and "injuring or killing people because you were driving while intoxicated" differently, they think that DUI/DWI should be punished with a verbal warning is the very height of…

Anecdotal evidence, yes, but when I post a comment grumbling about my iPhone 3G (my complaints weren't with iOS, just that it was a really old and obsolete phone) and someone else immediately responds with "get an Android, it will solve ALL your problems"... yeah. Maybe the "users of X don't necessarily have X's…

No need to act like it's a surprise. Macklemore completely humiliated everyone else in XXL's Freshmen Class of 2012 cypher. (This is just one half. The other one had Hopsin, Danny Brown and the most embarrassing freestyle ever from Future.)

Panda Express is too highbrow for this treatment. Hell, the Asian Cajun places that litter so many food courts are barely above these techniques. Now, the random Chinese places near work where you only eat there because they're open late and the closer Chinese restaurant to the office doesn't take credit cards, well...

It's in your name, for one. Between that and the dismissive "I don't use this, therefore, NO ONE does" comment, I'm not really inclined to give you much room.

People still use the word "swag" unironically? I never found it to need my attention.

At least Guilford is recently relevant. My hometown's most recent claims to fame are the guy responsible for the Haditha massacre and the obligatory hot mess on a season of the Real World.

An Inspiron 1525 is old? Are you trying to make my Acer Aspire One (bought in December 2008) feel ancient? (Ironically enough, I just threw an SSD in there last night, along with a shiny new 802.11n card and the maximum 1.5GB of RAM, so that should future-proof it for a while.)

If there's two receivers literally on top of you, what are the odds that you'll deflect it right into their hands? There wasn't much space to work with there, aside from trying to bat the ball out the back of the end zone.

Look, Gregg, just because you didn't refer to Jennings as GLOREE BOYS, it doesn't mean we can't tell when you're commenting on Deadspin.

Yeah, slight correction to the lede.

Technically, it was a hand-me-down, but that's beside the point. I'm just frustrated that all the good stuff from newer versions of iOS (multitasking, Notification Center, battery life percentage, etc.) isn't available straight out of the box and requires jailbreaking. If the 3G supported iOS 4.3, this wouldn't be as…

That comes with SBSettings, apparently. Already set up an alternate unlocking method in that, and I'm installing Mobile Notifier (which I don't know why I couldn't install it before).

Aww. Something similar to the Notification Center would've been nice (without paying $8 for the appropriate app, because I'm cheap like that), but I'll take it. Just installed SBSettings and HOLY CRAP WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER PLEASE TELL ME THAT TYPING RUN-ON SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS IS A NORMAL REACTION TO…

If "get an Android" is the answer to anything involving an iPhone, you're asking the wrong question. I'm quite happy with the Apple ecosystem. It's just a matter of an outdated phone.

Okay, let's see what you can do for my iPhone 3G with a barely-responsive home button...

I could see splitting the space bar making sense, considering that the right side's always the one with the smoothed-out spot on my keyboards.

How much money did they spend redesigning milk crates so they no longer hold records? (At least I'm assuming that's what happened: crate manufacturers made them ever-so-slightly narrower because people kept stealing crates for their vinyl.)