I don’t know what they’re going to be. They might be erotic. I don’t know.

I’m guessing the winner of that match was whoever had the foresight to cosplay as John Cena.

Does this qualify as ragequitting?

Because you would have been the good guy with a gun who could have shot and killed (or disabled) the shooter, and only the shooter, in a dark and crowded nightclub, and everyone there would have known you were a Good Guy With A Gun? Stop.

They also didn’t have nearly as much in the way of medical research then (a gunshot wound almost inevitably resulted in death or dismemberment no matter where you got shot or with what). Sit down before you hurt yourself.

“How did you hear about our pinata outlet?”

It’s been a few years since I last donated, but I got my most recent tattoo eight months ago. I’m screwed in terms of giving blood for the next few months, aren’t I? (The tattoo was in New York, which doesn’t have state regulations on shops, but everything was done the right way in terms of sterile equipment and such.)

Hope this one works for me too... I had to click “try it now” first, then I could buy it for free. Showed up with the regular price on the initial screen.

WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THESE THINGS IN TIME. (sniffles, downloads Goat Simulator instead)

YOU TAKE THAT BACK. (clings to game-used Mark Janssens stick)

Wait, Tufts? I could probably just walk to Somerville and drop my old Fitbits off but wait then they would log that walk and not the return trip and then how will I know how much exercise I got DOES NOT COMPUTE

Only once Tom Phillips and Corey Graves grab some more brass rings and use them to gag Vince McMahon so they can do their thing on the main roster.

Yeah, it looks like the only places it’s available in the US are on DVD from the producers or iTunes. Hmph.

Question: next game, you’re one of the officials. Every time Draymond Green is being defended by Dellavedova, he gives Dellavedova the double-strength Steven Adams treatment. We’re talking groin devastation we haven’t seen since “OW! MY BALLS!” How many fouls do you call on Green? I say one and the rest of the game,…

Wait, were we supposed to stop?

I’m not sure Helms would even want to be mentioned in the same sentence as “TNA” these days...

More importantly, he did not get a save, seeing as if Albers or Ryan Webb got one, it might break Ben Lindbergh and/or Sam Miller and thereby end life as we know it.

So, did Fossum’s autograph make you flip your lid?

Whatever it takes to bring back Nick Foles In A Losing Effort, I’m on board.

Once they swell up to the size of grapefruits, I’m pretty sure that makes him the new Vince McMahon.