Avocado Toast

If you do this on a White iPhone, it also posts bail and changes your current Facebook profile photo to your First Communion photo.

The trial fucking enraged me. Kobe had his scumbag lawyer “accidentally” use the accuser’s full name in open court half a dozen times just to make sure it got out there so legions of unhinged fans would make her life a living hell until she gave up and went away. And it fucking worked. The judge threatened to hold her…

Meanwhile, inside the patrol car...

I drank petrol, my friends drank petrol, we liked petrol.

A car that won’t start every time has a lot to worry about in 2018. This is not 1968. That isn’t acceptable anymore, not even from an Italian car.

Seriously. Who among us hasn’t gotten tapped on the head when we’ve gone down in the box?

But seriously, F this guy.

Very few thought “he seems smart.”  Most thought, “fuck Hillary Clinton.”

“He tried to get Zeke off and failed.”

So, what’s going to happen summarily is:
-the subscription numbers won’t come close to achieving sustainability,

Loh said he spoke with McNair’s parents Tuesday morning to officially apologize on the university’s behalf, telling them, “the university accepts legal and moral responsibility for the mistakes our training staff made.”

Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes! 

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

What I can’t figure out is at the end when she says she moved out by Christmas, did she leave the husband by Christmas or did she and her husband move together? I hope she left him, that guy sounds awful.

i’m floored. i wasn’t prepared for that many twists 

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

It is the best one ever, and it’s not close.

Watching Roger Stone end up in handcuffs will be a singularly amazing moment. I hope Mueller throws the book, the sequel to the book, the prequel to the book, the book spinoffs, the TV script for the book, the movie script for the book after the TV series, the script for the edgy reboot of the TV series of the book,…

I saw a movie that starts like this.