My 10yo daughter pointed out that the front of a new 7 series looks like a pair of glasses. Now I can’t unsee it.

Me too. At a glance I just assumed the BMW kidneys had finally melted into each other to make one gigantic opening. 

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

Would like to take this opportunity to applaud the decision to link out to as many great non-sports stories as possible today:

LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP. 

Kind of unprofessional not to do it first thing in the morning, and instead wait until he was two hours into eating tape.

It actually looks like a couple of other guys in the photo had the same red-eye fix but it’s just not as glaringly obvious.

I have the same career background and thought the same thing. Most of the time, we kicked those shots inside where the would be grayscale and less glaring. However, this may have been the only good shot from game, considering the shooter only had 15 minutes before he hopped in the car in went across the county to…

What a productive two days you’ve had.

I think the funniest part of the Mercedes Illuminated star is that you can only get it if you cheap out on options that really matter, like adaptive cruise and automatic emergency braking. You are literally making your MB shittier from the factory for the sake of adding the “look at me” emblem.

We’re just going to act like there’s not a helicopter parked on that pedestrian overpass, huh?

A lot of dumb people like to cite Sowell because he is a black conservative with a Harvard degree so he must be an expert, right? And for years, he used that intellectual cache to blatantly lie and misrepresent facts.

As one might expect, Michael Harriot says it best, in his open letter to Jay-Z:

Yeah its so boring which is why I remember exactly how she looked, what she said, what she was wearing, how she tasted, how she felt... but I was terribly bored the entire time. It’s definitely not the only time I almost had sex.

Also I went to Harvard and she was totally impressed with that. I didn’t bring it up, she…

Love to write shitty Penthouse Forum letters about my sex life that also mention superfluously that I went to Harvard.

To all the people saying “use adblock”, you’re probably right, but for the sites that still don’t put their stuff behind a paywall, I don’t want to block their ads. Might have to change that posture for deadspin, though.

I love boxing, but boxing probably shouldn’t be a thing.

You’ve likely never owned a Corvette, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stick to sports.

You are not an intelligent person and no one cares that you are afraid of brown people.