They are neither the cure for cancer nor a heretofore undiscovered Debussy sonata! Come at me bro!

Wasn't that Press Your Luck? What was it they used to say on that one?

Mr Meeseeks, has anyone ever told you you're like a lame Cookie_Monster?

Haven't you heard? He became some kind of X-man, on Heroes.

Sure, why not.

I'd give up red meat just to see Ariel in seashells. (Different Ariel.)

Oh shit, I've got one: Marc Summers and Harvey from Double Dare team up to make Olmec from Legends of the Hidden Temple find a little red flag in a giant PB&J. In, uhhhh, Nick Arcade.

Don't Just Sit There or GTFO. (Wait, is that redundant?)

Different universe. But maybe we can get Aeon Flux v. Cornholio?

OK, Fox, I'm really glad to see The X-Files return — but isn't it about time the Sliders "slide" back into network primetime? I mean, those nasty Kromaggs aren't going to defeat themselves. (Or maybe they are? What was their deal, again?)

Not really, no. But you may be onto something: I do have a pretty short attention span. (But I'll pick a novel over short stories every time — so, I'm not so sure.)

Hated 'em. I've often said that, on a list of my 100 favorite TV episodes of all time, X-Files might appear twenty times — but it wouldn't make the list of my twenty favorite shows. And it's because of the mythology stuff. What a bore.

With Zack on this one: I hated the mythology episodes as much as anyone, and have basically been ignoring them for two decades now (I even skipped the first movie!). But they were always a huge part of the series, and honestly, I liked this about as much as any of that old black oil/kidnapped sister/alien assassin…

Just curious: does anyone else find Miss Rife's lead paragraphs to be a bit abrupt lately — a bit hurried, a bit graceless? I hate to mention it at all (I don't have to read the AV Club, after all), but they've gotten to be a real pet peeve of mine; I always know, when I'm jarred into a story, that I'll be able to…

Possible title: The Incredible Hulk Visits the Fireworks Factory.

All I remember about Clownhouse was thinking, "This needs to be more like Killer Klowns from Outer Space." (Oh, and the endnote, which tries to say something meaningful about the nature of fear or some such shit.) I don't think it was ever a candidate for Cult Favorite, pedophile director or no.

Some people call subs hoagies these days. Trust me, I am hip to the porns.

Wrong, this was good, and that's pretty remarkable for an episode that not only made me look at goiters, but also hear the word "goiter" at least half a dozen times. (It's a good thing those goiters weren't "moist," or I'd have fucking lost it.)

Right, the real monster of the franchise is Craven himself, and he doesn't even show up until the fucking seventh entry.

He hosted the premiere at NY Comic Con (with Duchovny and Carter and Pileggi), and did an amazing job. He was clearly thrilled to be there.