If something is injured when I am scoring, it generally is just my pride

This is gospel, all of it.

Huckabee isn’t known for his intelligence. GLad you recognize it.

I don’t get all the hate on Buffalo. While I was visiting I got lost after getting spectacularly intoxicated and someone got shot two blocks from my hotel. It was all very exciting.

Yep! It’s actually between $150 and $305, depending on whether you have HD or 4K, and the size of your screen.

“Kickmen doesn’t even do corner kicks”

I am incredibly charming and charismatic and am NOT a psychopath thank you very much. All the severed heads in my fridge tell me so.

I love your grandfather.

Is there any way you guys at [whatever gawker is now] can make it so blurred out handjobs aren’t shown on the FUCKING “YOU MAY LIKE” SIDEBAR.

Liberal garbage written by establishment elites.

And whenever I do that at a WNBA game I get arrested

OKC did something similar, except they tried to convince Kevin Durant that Russell Westbrook wasn't deaf. Needless to say, KD never bought it.

Now the only thing left is for the grievance industry to crank up and spit out a list or group of people who are offended by this hilarity.

the biggest winner here is the Braves for no longer having these two former MLB starters, now relegated to triple A prank videos, on their payroll

They lost 4 home games last year and their first 3 wins were total tomato cans so, yeah, they were pretty shitty.

Easily the most exciting moment of Big Ten football in the last decade.

Cilantro is how you say Coriander in Spanish.

"Oooooo the handsy fan cannnnn...... CURTIS! You're something sort of stand(off)ish!" — Sterling

Personally, I think, Ryan Gosling's face and hair, on Ryan Gosling's body, with Ryan Gosling's arms and legs and cute butt.

Because apparently it's okay shame smaller people by calling them anorexic but fat-shaming is off limits amirite?