Makes sense - whenever I "take a Brown to the Super Bowl," nobody likes the view, either.

Oh, @DBryant92, I don't think you need to worry about showing up at another Super Bowl for quite a while. #browns #vivalachud

No, it's just Bud Light in a can that is 99% aluminum, 1% silver.

Buffalo Mac & Cheese is normally really good, but, for some reason, the Super Bowl version is alway disappointing.

[imagines stuffing six singles into a vending machine]

In this case, weed would be a gateway drug to a more expensive soup habit.

you can buy an 1/8 of weed in Denver for the same price of that Mug

Except that the person who made the bracket was rooting for both Onion Dip and Queso. Loudly and often. SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE FIRED.

I'm gonna use Ranch instead of Blue Cheese. That's cool right?

This was under-appreciated. +1

Man. Look at that thing. WOW. So thick! I wonder if it tickles when you kiss him. Is that gray hair, or is it just from the powdered doughnut he ate at breakfast?

Fun Fact: Regis Philbin is the father-in-law of Ken Tremendous, a fictional human being who occasionally deigns to write for Deadspin.

— chief among them...

Hearing someone like this say those kinds of things could do some serious damage to Reilly's ego. He loved the Batman trilogy.

I chose bean dip over guacamole even though I love them both. Why can't I have both!?!
Choosing between guac and spinach/artichoke is going to make my head explode. It'll be my own personal Sophie's Choice because I've never seen the movie.

I'm just going to go ahead and say this right now, for the record:

Seriously. I just picture lunatics attacking some poor baked potato with chips.

At least they named them the Flames.

I still think NHL teams should be places with snow and ice. Like, say, Atlanta.

Cleveland better watch out. If Bennett keeps this up, he'll soon be taking his talents to South Beach. No, not that South Beach, but the south beach of Lake Ladoga when he jumps to the Russian league.