Why do I hate this purple lipstick so much?

NEVER QUITE AS GOOD!!

I’m trying to come up with one that involves baby love.

That’s actually a great name. They could call her Hog for short.

Because I’m the world’s biggest moron.

Mahogany Simpson Ross?

Oh god this still makes me so uncomfortable.

nice recovery

I would spin SO HARD at Musical Mondays.

To be fair, I’m kind of into spin classes, and I’m SUPER into gay clubs, so this sounds like something I would be 100% all for.

Stared at this photo and forgot the existence of every man on this planet.

The only thing he’s sorry about is that he got caught.

Again, I deeply regret that my pursuit of an activity I love and practice responsibly and legally resulted in the taking of this lion. That was never my intention.

“oh, i didn’t realize it was like, a CELEBRITY lion, i thought i was just, legally, murdering a NORMAL lion.

The only ethical way to harvest crocodile is, of course, through a wrestling match. To the death.

I had to read the entire paragraph about it before I figured out it was some woman named Christine and not actually Fran Drescher (or Fran Fine for that matter).