Correct. Adults cannot impress teenagers. Let’s see if I get kinjad.

They barely chased him. They checked his tags on the camera and went to his house. Kid fessed up. Nobody died.

I’m closing in on 50. One of my coworkers is a 23 y/o local rapper. Has albums, does shows, the whole bit. According to what he shows me, tiktok is good for comedy bits/sight gags that are especially punchy due to the time limitation.

I also love my nanny-ridden subaru appliance. I turned the lane keep off though because it gets confused at one specific part of my commute.

It doesn’t read like satire?

Completely agree. It's a cool piece of work but ND at half the price.

Point taken. For the record, I agree. I meant “we gotta” in the sense that it’s common to have a "what do in an active shooter scenario" in the video orientation at Kohl's.

Do you really have to renew in person in Texas like it's 1975 or are these people just stupid? I can renew online.

Yeah just get a passport. They're accepted everywhere.

I just had my license reissued online in Colorado. I had to have my browser open for like ten whole minutes. Showed up in the mail like 10 days later.

“Eet eez as eef they wish the car to outlast zee warranty. Absurd!”

Time in the Amazon package floor crying booth must be limited to 4 minutes, once per shift, or you'll docked pay and terminated.

My man, that the old, “an armed society is a polite society” thing.

Silly. They did it so three dozen jalopnik commenters could celebrate exactly what they've been pining for and promptly not buy it.

I don’t condone any of this, but let’s not go assuming that the driver of the stolen car is going to start acting rationally.

Head south on Wads through Denver toward Englewood. There's a used Subie dealer there with all WRXs. That's where they went. 

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. I used to work for a guy who insisted on using hackintosh machines. I still get chills.

Right? I’m juuuust below 800 and a credit union tried to hit me with 3.2. Dealership gave me 0.9. 

Buddy, I’m 50. Nothing’s more boring than sitting around peacocking your consumer purchases. When you grow up a little you’ll realize that.

Nothing is more Boomer Dad than getting up before everyone else on a weekend morning to peacock your car to other dads in the parking lot.