After this video was shot, the pug went after people sharing his music online.

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose to ruin the reputation of a good film by making a superfluous sequel.

Pobody's nerfect

The production of these toys is completely over-saturated, which means that they will never be worth anything in the future. Unless all of those adults are buying those toys just to actually play with them? [shudders]

Hey everyone, I just woke up after being in a coma for 2 years. What's all this talk about Bill Cosby? Does that crazy guy have a new TV show, or did he finally get around to making Leonard, Part 7 or something?

It's too late for him now. He's become a Tribble.

Well sir, let me introduce you to the filmography of Adam Sandler.

And a Jamaican-accented, wacky alien for comic relief.

Let the examination of their social media histories begin!

"Coming up tonight on CBS . . . a brand new episode of Mustache Rides Are Free."

Spike Lee hasn't been daring or inventive in many, many years.

That's some great screen name/comment synergy!

Given that porn continues to be a billion dollar industry—even in the face of piracy and tube sites—I'm pretty sure that in the privacy of their own homes, people on both sides of the political spectrum are ambivalent at best towards porn.

If only there was some sort of device that we all ubiquitously carry with us and which can provide automatic access to pornography on demand in any hotel room, for free no less . . .

It's a direct rip-off of the song "Mockingbird," which was originally done by Inez & Charlie Foxx, and more famously covered by Carly Simon and James Taylor. I've always thought that if someone owns the rights to that song, they should sue these Kars 4 Kids fucks.

We won! We won! Where's my participant ribbon?

By next spring, the Comedy Central evening block with The Daily Show and The Nightly Show will be an afterthought to most TV viewers. Sad.

May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi.

I'd just like to note that we're getting new (sort of) material from Tolkien published this year, but George R.R. Martin still can't fucking finish his new book.

He died as he lived—sniffing butts and licking his own genitals. RIP.