drewmarkham--disqus
John Cocktoasten
drewmarkham--disqus

Too scary for really young kids, and too juvenile for teenagers. This one is destined to fail.

I like both of these actresses a lot, but let's face it . . . by and large, they both make terrible movies.

I love legitimate theater.

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Ooh, I bet the GoT writing staff are thinking up a nefarious rape scene for Bran as we speak!

But how will Adam Sandler be able to leverage his voiceover work for this into a vacation?

Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving. Glavin!

Too many bottles full of bub on his tab.

Maybe at Da Price Club.

I hear the quality control in the Chile brewery is great!

For those with good behavior
We commute you

[Mel Gibson hurriedly starts searching for said toy on eBay]

This is clearly the worst thing to ever be unwrapped from a McDonald's.

Finally, we get a project that will unite all of the likeminded fans of Cold War-inspired geopolitical espionage and musical theater.

Doritos

One day at a time, white_abed. You'll get that General Lee chip, I just know it.

You know, rain on one's wedding day would in fact be ironic if the wedding party intentionally planned to set themselves on fire in an outdoor ceremony. Just sayin'.

The Blue Man Group—the 1990s' answer to Mummenschanz.

How can this tour not be stopping in Butte, Montana?

Pfft, she only has a certificate in Sexology? I guess she never heard of the Master's program at Devry.