Yes, let's see, I'll start with the Take a Chance on Miso Soup, as well as an order of the S.O.Escargot, and for the entree I'll have the Winner Takes it Almond Chicken. And a Diet Coke. Thank you.

Still one of the greatest random headlines from The Onion:

"Mister Potato Head! Mister Potato Head! Back doors are not secrets!"

C.R.E.A.M.

Wow, what a horrible list.

Poulin, you got some 'splainin' to do!

"Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

The A.V. Club

The Jewell of Denial.

And lo, they are risen!

So, they hired a guy to replace Jon Stewart who basically tweeted the equivalent of a No Fat Chicks joke? Yeah, this is going to end well.

I find the off-color tones of the humor really mix well with the tannins and hint of currant in a deep red, such as a cabernet or merlot.

You Maniacs! You blew him up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

You mean, besides Adam Sandler, right?

Don't blame Julieanne—İzmir fault.

She's history's greatest monster!

If he'd just take some writing tips from James Patterson, Sue Grafton, or Danielle Steele, he'd have the next book done before I finish this sentence.

But what about the vegetarians? Are there some kind of corporate, synergistic, product-based, fast foodstuff-riddled textiles that will appeal to them?

Hey George, no more red carpets. No more interviews. No more contemplation about spoilers. FINISH THE FUCKING BOOK!

Marshawn Lynch would be very, very proud.