the second one

funny what triggers people, ain’t it?

“It’s a terrible thing that happened, but make it a teachable moment.”

It’s amazing what these fuckers think democracy is.  It explains so much of what’s happening now

DINOs

Rich people only have one allegiance, the rest of us can fuck off and die already

Where’s your red cap, Ku Klux Karen?

the pet absolutely takes the guardian’s (not owner’s) last name, even though it’s not their baby, it’s still adopted

what about the AIDS jokes?  still hilarious?

the best course of action, Todd, would be to not say anything at all, rather than being outraged at outrage

How protected could you really be with facial tattoos?

that’s a little shrill, fellas

My mom says I’m really cute.  And smart, too

My husband’s dad was a cop for about 40 years. Never once shot someone, even when they were shooting at him.  “I feared for my life”.  Then go get a desk job, asshole

yeah, dumb ass, whistle-blowers are not spies and you can’t retaliate.  but, of course, you’d have to have a rudimentary understanding of how government works to know that

“Anything I did should be praised.”

You have to apply to the KKK?  Like it’s Walmart?  I kind of thought you were born into it and had to opt out.

I love how Elaine Chao said it would make cars safer.

I one time opened an apartment on the third floor (I lived on the 4th), but I was stoned out of my mind (and only later realized that the management had the same locks and keys for every apt in the building).  Fortunately, no one was home.