At least we’ll be able to tell our grandkids, as we sit around a feeble fire eating rats and pigeons, that we actually saw an empire crumble

So much better than seeing a baby hippo get bitten in half

I had my “sexual awakening” in the back of a dodge van. Brown shag carpet, and a dude with a mustache and a “Mahler Rocks” T-shirt. Pretty sure Zeppelin was playing.  Don’t remember what the outside looked like - probably a wizard or dragon or something

all these assholes should just advertise as “christian bakers” or “christian calligraphers” or whatever so decent people can know to avoid them at all costs.  I wouldn’t want some mouth-breathing “christian” to do shit for my wedding.  No christ cooties, thank you

When did those statues go up?  Was it in the 20s to intimidate African Americans, or the 50s to intimidate African Americans?  These aren’t War Memorials, they’re warnings.

you can’t have that vape.  Here’s an AR15 instead

I don’t really know what you expected when you married Cyrus

you paid for ‘em, you better show ‘em

oh good, at least three more years of trans-bashing

If you’re a Republican, you are definitely outrageous and racist.  I don’t give a shit what color your skin is, you belong to the party of White Supremacy

nope, it just drowns the poors

Bolton must be going crazy right now

How many different euphemisms for “concentration camp” can they come up with?

I’ll see your George Soros and raise you one Sheldon Adelson

PDAs are gross, no matter who’s involved

We banned Lawn Darts and Clackers because a few kids got hurt. We have to take our shoes off before we can get on a plane because ONE person had a malfunctioning shoe-bomb. We’re going to ban vaping because 6 people died.  But God forbid we do anything about our precious guns

Even more than President PussyAssBitch, Mitch McConnell, the Grave Digger of Democracy, needs to be waterboarded, have all his teeth and fingernails pulled out slowly, his genitals burned off, and both Kavanaugh and Gorsuch removed from the SCOTUS.

aw, poor poor transphobes. That’s the minority we should be concerned about