From the company that brought you The Greatest Oil Rumble, Infidel In A Cell, No Survivors Series, and Blood Money in the Bank, WWE presents...

We should probably ask for consent before we put anything into Ja. 

I was on a flight when I watched that play. It was all I could do to stop myself from standing up and making an announcement to the entire cabin about what just happened.

They don’t even have a gunner spread out to the side the punter ran to. There are at least two defenders on that side whose ONLY JOB is to ensure that the ball is kicked away and no bull shit happens. No pullers to gain numbers advantage, no misdirection...just the punter and his open field savvy. You make this call…

That Colts play is a masterpiece. It invokes such feelings of despair and helplessness. It’s like watching a hopelessly overmatched kid half-heartedly try something against an opponent, knowing in advance that they’re doomed, and it is so ill-conceived and embarrassing that you can’t even praise them for the effort. Th…

We must now put all our hopes into Ja Morant.

But I thought he didn’t get drafted by the Knicks.

Goddamn you, Andy Reid.

Translation: “We’re not going to be very good, so Zion’s going to sit until all of the early season tickets that were sold already just to see Zion are used, then he will debut so we can sell some more.”

Kneecap. 

Watching the o-lineman forced to act like a human stretcher when Mahomes couldn’t get up was a strange experience. He seemed to take it alright. 

For the Nats’ sake, The Astros need to smack the Yanks down the next two games.

Hold on to that thought until after the World Series, so if they win you can say they were rested and if they lose you can say they were rusty.

Through 50 games, both the Nats and the Tigers had the same record. One’s now in the world series, the other finished with the worst record in the majors.

It’s October, and transformations like this happen in October.

Yeah, clearly this dude is a paragon of logic.

It definitely sounds like this dude isn’t a 21 year old spring chicken college student either, judging by the 7 years since he said I love you and whatever. This dude is probably in his early to mid thirties and he wants some unsullied princess to come along. I think he’s pretty seriously over estimating his market…

I’d like to keep my relationship with my fiancée but also hate that I have to stone cold stop talking to my co-worker and block her number and then pretend everything is ok whenever I see her at work, on a conference call or go to her store.

Big yikes on that shit right there. Did you tip your fedora before, after, or during the time you were writing this?

Just throwing it out there, but this mentality?