sane people knew this game would be a bloodbath. that game could’ve easily been 49-0 

Hey, don’t hate on Urban. That’s the look of a man who worked deep into the night grading papers for his ethics and leadership in sports class and has earned the right to watch a little ball on Saturday.

Group chat’s gonna be lit tonight

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

Once again, a soccer story that ends with no scoring.

“My hand was stuck. Both hands actually, one on each side of his foot. That that twisting motion was just the natural motion I make when trying to get my hand out of something it’s stuck in, like the outside of a foot.”

“3 minutes and 30 seconds” Rick Pitino is in awe at that stamina.

Let’s ask him about his thing for fucking children, tho.

RICO

Whenever I see pictures from this shitshow I am hearing the following:

The people in witness protection sure are hoping so... Could you imagine trying to find placement for someone like Tekashi? Where in the would would he be inconspicuous?!?

Oh, he dead now.

Well look at the bright side— literally hundreds fewer women had to be raped before somebody at Michigan State noticed this time! I mean, that’s progress no matter which way you look at it.

In his defense, the guy was really good at football.

Chris Jones’s right arm/us Chiefs fans in general/2001 Oakland Raiders fans/your blood pressure/The World:

No sympathy for everybody’s favorite fancy dog. You watch a Thursday night Titans-Jags game, you get what you have coming to you.

I’d suggest they just burn East Lansing to the ground, but the students will do that the next time they beat Eastern Michigan.

Alternate headline:

This has to be frustrating. Elway has yelled at him so many times that he's nearly horse.

Man the steelers really got themselves a cheap very productive player.