Remember when Michael Cera beat up the Human Torch, Captain America, the Atom, and Superman in the same movie, and his ex was Captain Marvel?

2-14, most likely. 

I don’t think they’re going to Vegas in a “down on my luck, nothing left to lose” way. More in a “haven’t been relevant in 30 years so I guess I’ll do a residency at the MGM” way.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Broncos. Tonight. 10:20 PM EDT. Oakland. Be there, or don’t. At this point, what difference does it make?

The same place as anyone down on their luck with nothing left to lose, VEGAS BABY.

They should have told the Kent State administration to fuck off and kept playing. I mean, what are they gonna do about it, call in the National Guard?

“Potato” is a shape.

It’s been like this ever since he started drinking that brain and nerve tonic that Artie Burns gave him.

Remember last season when all the stories in the off-season were about Ben Roethlisberger getting in shape?

And if you want to stay that way, remember to vote so Andrew Scheer doesn’t win this October.

I haven’t been this proud to be Canadian since the 2016 US presidential election.

Funny, he’s also known as the only guy who can prevent another Giants Super Bowl victory.

They play in a division with 3 incompetently-run franchises. They feast every fucking year.

I can’t believe a sports league exists where there are basically 20+ incompetently-run franchises and 1 that feasts on them all.

BRB, going through every article written about AB over the last two months and faving all the Steelers fans’ smug comments.

C’mon, these are cadets. Let them enjoy almost winning on a clearly delineated field before they hit the real world. It will be bad enough when the current class gets graduated early to invade Greenland and wherever it is that hurricanes come from.

Taking the Army to multiple overtimes is a fun tribute to the war in Afghanistan

honestly i find this inspiring that a person with epilepsy can still be a top tier college athlete. hope he's okay of course but a seizure can happen anywhere for him so its not really a football issue and im glad these big programs also recognize that.

Now he’ll sign with the goddamn Patriots and we all won’t be laughing anymore.