Sure, if Embiid stays healthy and him and Simmons turn out to be bonafide stars then this isn’t their peak at all, but it’s not a crazy prediction with the number of uncertainties involved. Right now you have to question Embiid’s health, whether Simmons without a jumpshot can be a legit superstar, whether Fultz will…

People have bitched about Cavs vs. Warriors happening every year, but there’s nothing I would like to see more than Lebron toppling the greatest team ever put together. Not even a Lebron fan, that’s just irresistible entertainment.

I’m rock hard right now

I had to double check that I hadn’t switched over to the Onion by mistake.

What blows my mind is how people think the Lebron and Simmons comparison is even remotely similar. Lebron had a shaky jumper, but he still shot 29% from three his first year. He’s shot 36% the past two years, so we are talking like a 7% improvement over a career. Simmons was 0% from three this year, how does everyone…

Holy shit, that is a ton of ifs that you are assuming will pay off. If that works out more power to you, but I think it’s dangerous to assume that even half of those things will happen, minus Embiid’s face.

I do think that Simmons will expand his selection of moves close to the rim this offseason in order to find ways to score, but yeah, I don’t see him developing a reliable shot anytime soon. We seem to take jumpshooting for granted in the NBA, every player with any sort of athleticism is heralded as the next GOAT…

Yes, we all still hate those teams. Not our fault that KD decided he needed to one up that one and make an Eviler Empire.

I will pay good money to watch this man walk into a drunk food spot in my town after the bars close. If you get it on video for me, I will break the internet with it.

The robbers were shocked when they opened the tablet and saw Roquan’s background...

Yeah, I feel like meeting the Syracuse football team would require fake asthma at best.

Simmons is basically a newer version of Michael Carter-Williams created by a lunatic, who saw the first version of MCW and instead of addressing his shooting problems started yelling “MAKE HIM TALLER AND A BETTER PASSER! THAT’LL DO THE TRICK.”

I miss Rey more than probably any other star I grew up with, so I really hope he comes back to WWE. Some of my favorite matches with him were his David vs. Goliath matches with Big Show and The Great Khali, and I think doing that again with Braun or Baron Corbin would be cool to watch.

We all need to stop giving publicity to acts like Lil Tay, it’s the only way we are gonna get rid of these absolutely dumb personas.

I tend to disagree. Love’s rebounding isn’t what makes up for being undersized at the 5, it’s his scoring and the ability to put four shooters around Lebron for as long as possible. Valanciunas is decent but is not able to take over the game if you leave a smaller guy on him, and running Love out at the 5 took him out…

Embiid is an asshole like 60% of the time, and the Celtics most unlikeable player is arguably the nicer Morris twin. It ain’t that close for me.

I think it’s time to dispel the notion that the Boston Celtics are less talented than Philly and other teams around the league: even missing Kyrie and Gordon, they are absolutely stacked. Tatum, Brown and Rozier are borderline stars arriving way ahead of schedule, and I still would pick Horford over Embiid at this…

He’s gotta be nice for what to Perk?

Nah just randos, I feel like there’s a number to call for the hookers.

God damn, dude