Ichiro, the true hit king

I think the weird part is that Burks has been a solid NBA player for nearing a decade, and I still have absolutely no idea who he is.

“Doing things” is an incredibly accurate way to describe a statline of 9/4/2.

I love that the guy has a ninety second discussion with security about what he did, as if it couldn’t have been solved by “Don’t be a dumbass again. Oh, you’re being a dumbass again? BYE BYE.”

Hi, that was me.

You know you’re a dick when people would rather back Rajon Rondo than you.

Lebron and Simmons won’t be able to coexist with each other. Both of them need the ball in their hands to be effective and are not great off-ball options, whereas duos like Harden-Paul or Curry-Thompson have the shooting to be a threat when you leave them. At the end of the day, no team is going to be more deadly than…

Man, he must’ve REALLY hated Martavis Bryant.

Yeah, but he took 30 shots to get it, so it’s not exactly unfair criticism. The rebounds and assists are always there, but if Russ did this he’d still be getting shit on for his shooting performance, so we gotta do the same for Lebron.

AND WHAT ABOUT SPY KIDS?

Damn, she’s got better form than Shawn Marion.

My theory for why they never showed Xandar being destroyed is that we will see it in the fourth movie. Captain Marvel, the OG Avengers, Rhodey and Rocket will plan on stealing the Time Stone, and then will plan on traveling back to stop Thanos’ assault on Xandar to get the first Infinity Stone, so it will be where the…

He had a 7 foot man landing on top of him. What was he supposed to do, try and shoot it directly through Gobert’s face? He wasn’t looking for contact, he had a man leaping into him and he adjusted by leaning left to try and get the shot off. To say that this is more on Paul for trying to get a shot off and not on…

You’re right, I don’t think he was shooting his normal shot, but that’s because someone was about to foul him. I don’t hate that foul at all because Gobert was flying into him, it wasn’t him going straight up and Paul trying to lunge into him for contact, Paul had him landing on top of him and leaned sideways to get a…

There’s no denying these points, but the Thunder still got absolutely screwed by the refs at the end. Gobert fouled the shit out of PG on that three, Paul didn’t initiate contact at all and they swallowed the whistle for a blatant hip check. The Thunder definitely underperformed this series, but if the refs called the…

You are entitled to your beliefs, but I hope you understand that I will not be entertaining opinions from someone named Beefy Queefs.

It was the most bullshit round of Cruis’n Exotica I’ve ever played.

Capri Suns are not to be drank in any fashion besides in a pouch straight from the straw, you animal.

These rankings work because the rank of each drink is my personal record for one night.

Making it into the Deadspin Slack chat? You’re a goddamn champion.